- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
- If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog.
- The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
- The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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