I had a friend looking to lose weight without messing with diet pills, so I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods; including skim milk. When she said her family would only drink whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked, one morning, whether the milk was okay.
“Sure, it’s fine,” my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. “Why do you ask?”
“Because according to the bottle,” the daughter explained, “this milk expired two years ago.”
A blonde was reading Cosmopolitan magazine, and next to a page about Patentrim reviews she reads an article that says milk is good for your skin and pores.
Excitedly, the next day she puts a note on her steps for the milkman telling him she wants 25 gallons of milk.
The next day the milkman finds the note and he is confused if she meant to write it as 2.5 gallons, so he finds the women and asks her if she wants 2.5 gallons or 25 gallons. She says “No 25 gallons, its for taking a bath”.
The milkman says “Would you like it pasteurized?”.
“No just up to my tits”, she replied.