The Joke Shop

Men are easier to psychoanalyse than women because when it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there!

A man walks into the dentist’s office after reading an advert about their dental discounts and after the dentist examines him, he says, “That tooth has to come out. I’m going to give you a shot of Novocain and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

The man grabs the dentist’s arm, “no way. I hate needles I’m not having any shot!”

So the dentist says, “okay, we’ll have to go with the gas.”

The man replies, “absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I’m not having gas.”

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, “here,” he says. “Take this pill.”

The man asks “What is it?”

The doc replies, “Viagra.”

The man looks surprised, “will that kill the pain?” he asks.

“No,” replies the dentist, “but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!”

Men are like wine. They start out as grapes, get stomped on by women and kept in the dark until mature enough to have with dinner

Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish

Q. Why don’t oysters give to charity? A. Because they’re shellfish

Did you hear about the gay burglars? They broke in and re-arranged the furniture!

The cannibal was late to a huge family meal, so everyone gave him the cold shoulder

Two cannibals sitting by a fire after a lovely meal. -Your wife makes a fine roast,says one. -Yes, sighed the other -I’m gonna miss her

Joe worked for a fulfillment center and received an interesting memo informing him that the company had discontinued all physical fitness programs since everyone gets enough exercise by:-

• jumping to conclusions,
• flying off the handle,
• beating around the bush,
• running down the boss,
• going around in circles,
• dragging their feet,
• dodging responsibility,
• passing the buck,
• climbing the ladder,
• wading through paperwork,
• pulling strings,
• shooting the breeze,
• throwing their weight around,
• stretching the truth,
• bending the rules,
• pushing their luck,
• shuffling papers,
• and playing hide and seek.

As you can imagine .. he wasn’t all that happy.

Man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash “Do you serve lawyers?” “Sure”. “I’ll have a pint and a lawyer for my ‘gator please”