The Joke Shop

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Some quotes

Filed under: Jokes — at 11:28 am on Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Here are some quotes I came across in my surf around the Web

  • Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.
  • Procrastination means never having to say you’re sorry.
  • Being politically correct means always having to say you’re sorry.
  • On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten.
  • Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it’s gone.
  • Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the show?
  • Trust in God, but lock your car.
  • Given a conflict, Murphy’s law supercedes Newton’s.
  • There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosive
  • I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
  • I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.
  • I took some baby shower gifts once. It left my skin baby soft.
  • A peanut saved is a peanut earned. A peanut shaved is a sterile man.
  • “Never eat more than you can lift!” — Miss Piggy

Some good ones eh?

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